Does it really go to 11?

Old enough to remember the scene? Yeah, I thought so.

And over the last few months, I feel like my marriage is at a 10. I'm walking around with a smile and a skip in my step. My wife says it too. We're like, well.. technically we are... a couple of newlyweds. Though approaching our 6th year in our relationship, it doesn't feel all that new sometimes. It's just delicious.

We've been talking about how great it is, mulling over a few little life changes that have gone on that have given us more time together, and made the time together better. One of the little things started back in Feb when she scheduled this trip she's on, I got the idea of asking her to lock me in my chastity belt when she left. We're not hardcore chastity players like some. Generally over the last few years of our relationship we've built up to the point where I get locked up during her monthly cycle - and on a VERY rare occasion beyond that. So I'm locked for 4 days a month or so. Hardly super chastity expert, right? Since getting my custom belt from Chastity Heaven, it's been much easier for me to survive it. And now she's wanted the chastity to go a longer, 5, 6... 7 days. But it took me almost a month to build up the courage to ask her to lock me when she was going.

She was going to be gone for 10 days (the trip later got shortened to 7) and I'd never gone that long. Plus, with her gone like that, there's no way for me to ask for a day out to stretch, or clean, or shave. It felt like a big step. I was both excited and a bit scared.

But she was just excited by it. God, that is so hot. She was excited enough, that she's declared that I would need to be locked up more in preparation for the trip. When she went away for an extended weekend in April - I was locked. We had a dominatrix visit us b/c the Beyond Leather hotel was all booked up - I was locked again. Its clear that she is getting more and more into it.

The thing is, I'm running back and forth in my head with wanting and being afraid of asking or volunteering for more. After the April trip, before she unlocked me from the cage she told me that when she got back from this May trip, she was going to prostate milk me before letting me out of chastity. I started to beg for her not to do that. See, while there is a part of me that loves the prostate play, more of me is fighting it. The more she enjoys it, the more she drags it out, the more it is becomes a genuinely unpleasurable. Oh, don't get me wrong here - I love it. I love not liking it actually. I love that she's getting off on being sadistic that way. It's all that John Cougar "Hurts so Good" stuff - a total unmitigated mind fuck.

And I'm loving it. Holy crap I'm loving it.

And I want to go to 11. And she said she wouldn't let me out until I agreed to accept a prostate massage when she got back from her trip this month. And just knowing that's coming, and knowing how she is learning to love it. Gah.

But then she upped the ante. Before leaving for her trip, she told me that she wasn't going to unlock me until her friend leaves. And her friend is staying with us for the remainder of the week after they get back!!! That would be two weeks in lockup. I begged. I pleaded. I simply refused. Seriously. I want to go to 11, not 12!!!

And over the next couple of days, I really genuinely emphasized to her that I did not want to stay in lockup for that long after they got back. For a few days she was stoic about it. Eventually I said to her that I'd be willing to go back into the belt after just one release. She didn't quite respond either way to that. The last night before she left, while we were cuddling, we started talking about it. She asked if "I would rather not be locked up at all than to be locked for the two weeks?" I told that I didn't think I could make it that long, yet. I just couldn't. And yes, as sad as it would make me, and as much as I'd feel like I was disappointing her, I would rather not be locked up.

So, she agreed to let me out when they get back. Of course their flight gets in after midnight, and then we get the bags from customs and get home and I don't sleep 100% as well in chastity (probably 90% now...) so I'm going to be dead tired, and so will they... so I definitely will have to wait til the next day already.

But there's a part of me that wants to e-mail her and say "if you wish for me to remain locked after you return, I will accept that as a demonstration of my devotion and love to you." But fortunately that part of me is only on my shoulder whispering in my ear every few hours. It's not reached my typing fingers yet. Oh wait... she might read this of course.

Gah. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

And that's the great mind fuck of it all. Not only does a part of me want her to read it, but a part me me wants her to truly punish me for not acquiescing to her from the start. Sending me off to visit Lady Regina at Command Performance to get bound and soundly paddled. Sent home to my love, to be bound and spanked again, allowed to lovingly worship her body, then prostate milked, brought to the edge of tears, tormented, brought to the edge of orgasm, denied, told to make her cum again, brought to the edge... made to swear all kinds of naughty promises, and if I refuse - at best I get a ruined orgasm and shoved right back into the belt.

My loving keyholder just a little stricter, a little harsher, just a little bit downright cruel. Playing with chastity, becomes enforced chastity... I want to have days where I say "I really should not have asked for that, it was a mistake" to which she replies "Tough, I'm having fun. Now don't complain or else..."

Wait!!! Huh??? Who the hell is typing this!!!

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FYI: Chastity Capations by ptathuk